Have you fallen into the trap of believing we can have it all?

Lara Sheldrake

Do you feel you're permanently living in the 'rush hour'?

The work, admin, caring responsibilities, social life, self-care, it all gets added to a never-ending list.

And that's before we've considered anything spontaneous we may like to indulge in.

For decades we fought for independence and the flexibility to work *and* have children aka "to have it all", but this is a myth, a facade, a trap!

None of it comes without some sacrifice.

It's been reported that as women’s financial contributions increase, they pick up a heavier load when it comes to household chores and caregiving responsibilities. [Source: Grazia].

And Emily Button, Women's leadership coach talks about it here with the BBC, explaining "I don't think you can have everything at the same time".

I'm not sure there is an answer here or a magical quick fix. But solidarity and community is a good start, right?

"While every generation seems to think they’ve had it hardest, ours is feeling it powerfully right now. We’ve taken hit after hit, and there’s major disconnect between the lives we thought we’d be living in 2024 and our realities. Because the stories we were sold by society, politicians and even our parents have turned out to be rotten, empty or out of date.⁠" [Source: The stylist]

"As much as we’ve been told we can have it all – the job, the family, the social life – we are set up to fail. Instead, we have to do it all and be it all, while constantly feeling burnt out and like we’re never quite good enough." - Anna Whitehouse is a Heart FM broadcaster, bestselling author, and the campaigner behind Flex Appeal

If you ever find yourself syaing "there is never enough time" you are not alone.

Candice Brathwaite, writer, podcaster and author of the upcoming book Manifest(o) says "Our algorithms have conned us into believing most women are swanning around their high-rise apartments each morning and enjoying a reformer Pilates class before work. The truth is, the majority of us spend our mornings sprinting to the office after yet another train strike, only to spend most of the day worrying about whether we turned off the hair straighteners we used to iron one of our children’s school ties, before running back to the station so we don’t incur late pickup fees from another child’s nursery. There is never enough time."

Tamu Thomas, senior social worker-turned-life coach and author of Women Who Work Too Much says "But after years of trying to ‘girl boss’ like you don’t have family and mother like you don’t have to work, you realise the game is rigged. That it’s not up to us to smash the glass ceiling. Look how many of us sacrificed our health or changed our life plans under the deception that we’d get the same recognition and respect as men. And yet the gender pay gap persists. We’re still dismissed in the workplace. We’re still judged for being assertive.

Women don’t need anymore striving or self-improvement, we need systemic change. It took me years to realise: you just cannot outwork the patriarchy."

Ooof, to read the full article you can check it out here.

So this is a little reminder to take your time. Set some clear boundaries if you can.

You don't need to smash your goals, get sh*t done and have the perfect plan by lunchtime. Don't believe the lies!

No one is nailing it at life (or business!) and we're all muddling through, aka winging it!

We're right here with you 💕

About the Author

Lara Sheldrake

Lara is a speaker, business consultant and the founder of Found & Flourish, an online network for women and non-binary people in business. Lara consults on the topics of community, business and entrepreneurship. She is on a mission to make business accessible and less lonely. Through the power of community and collaboration, Found & Flourish empowers women to upskill, connect and truly flourish.

Join Us!

Join the community for access to workbooks, guides and workshop replays + a supportive community of founders and freelancers.

Join the community